My last Wednesday

This was my last Wednesday of summer. Next week on Wednesday, I will have officially gone to my first training of the school year of my 12th year of teaching.

Above everything this has been a summer of loss and change. I have been slowly losing my baby as he ages. He is my last and final child. There is no way around it. That part of my life is done.

I have felt many emotions this summer most of them being loss. It is sad to close a chapter in a book when I wasn't ready for it. I am still morning that loss. So many days I have lost to pure sadness and I missed out on so much joy.

This was the last summer where I will only have one in swimming lessons and have 3 under 5 years old. My last summer of breastfeeding. My last summer of just three kids to chase around. The last and it did not last long.

I sometimes get so caught up in the moments and time just passes. I miss thing, feel guilty. Then morn.

But all it not lost on this summer. I have gained so much. I am excited to go back to school with my fresh ideas. I am so very thankful to have found an amazing Facebook group.

As I change back from mom to teacher, I reflect back on what is not lost but what I have gained.

The Maiden Voyage

I have such a hard time not thinking about the next school year all summer long. I also prep all of my guided notes during this time as well.

Today, I will make my first trip up to the school, which is about 25 minutes from my house. I will have three of my four kids with me. So much of my time will be spent keeping the older ones entertained.

I think I want to go there, just to smell my room again. I miss it! I miss what working does for me as a parent and a person. I miss having time to hone my craft without a child looming over me. I love my biological children but truly long for getting back.

I hear there are school supplies out...