School Year's Eve

Twas the day before school and all through my house, 

I worry about the school year 

Would not care if I saw a mouse. 

I wonder and worry, 

Toil and care, 

Will this year go better than last year?

I am thinking about my goals 

what I want to accomplish. 

Sometimes wanting to ask

Why do I do this?

This year I want more engagement

More engagement from students

And from myself

Engaging with Co-workers

Engaging with Lessons

Engaging with Students

Planning and pondering

Hoping something will stick

Enhance the old with the new

Try not to change it all at one time

I can do it

One step at a time

One day at a time

I need to stop trying to do it all 

Big goals in mind

Lines I must cross

Dancing the Dance

Walking the Walk

Turning a Turn

What's next I don't know

All I can do is go with the flow

My last Wednesday

This was my last Wednesday of summer. Next week on Wednesday, I will have officially gone to my first training of the school year of my 12th year of teaching.

Above everything this has been a summer of loss and change. I have been slowly losing my baby as he ages. He is my last and final child. There is no way around it. That part of my life is done.

I have felt many emotions this summer most of them being loss. It is sad to close a chapter in a book when I wasn't ready for it. I am still morning that loss. So many days I have lost to pure sadness and I missed out on so much joy.

This was the last summer where I will only have one in swimming lessons and have 3 under 5 years old. My last summer of breastfeeding. My last summer of just three kids to chase around. The last and it did not last long.

I sometimes get so caught up in the moments and time just passes. I miss thing, feel guilty. Then morn.

But all it not lost on this summer. I have gained so much. I am excited to go back to school with my fresh ideas. I am so very thankful to have found an amazing Facebook group.

As I change back from mom to teacher, I reflect back on what is not lost but what I have gained.